it's such a pain.

Argh... My backbone is pain like ****. I don't know what had happened after recover from fever and flu. It hurts a lot during the night and that makes me wanna cry and I couldn't sleep well. T.T

Happy Deepavali everyone. Enjoy your holiday with your loved ones.

"Murderer" Grand Prize?

Got this from GempakStarz. But it doesn't seems like RM250 worth of prizes. -.-"





Today didn't go to work. MC. Number 4344. =.="

without wy 39days [ Let's do this ]

Alright, now I must set myself and make myself a 'normal' person again. At the very end of this year, that will be the time to do the right thing. In this period, I will use the time to correct many things. *and you too, I will see you there, that time. =)
Strive! Go3!

without wy 36days...

It's 8th October 2009. Should be around 36days. I am feeling better today, but there's one thing I don't like about me. It's not about me & her. It's about myself. What am I afraid of? Why do I find myself very discouraged on taking up new challenges? Why do I still look down on myself? What did make me becoming this? I only remembered my mother, once told me, I'm a child full of confidence. I don't quite remember since when, I have become a low self-esteem.

Alright, I think I should face it. I must take this step which I was afraid to take. I afraid to failed. If I really offered to take this job, I will try to fix the tasks, at least, with all my abilities. I will take it, not to let her down, at least, this will put myself back on track, or ... at least, she can see it sooner or later...

without wy 34days...

Yesterday I got to know that she was doing her experiment at uni. lab. So I decided to wait for her at the train station, even she did not reply my text messages I have sent, telling her that I will wait for her at the station. At last, I saw her, not long enough, train arrived, she boarded the train and waves goodbye.

Today, I decided just to see her from a distance. I don't know why but I did not wait at the station, just sat on the bench opposite the train station, thought she would take a bus today. I felt so tired and sleepy as I just slept for 2 hours last night. By the time I have decided to go home, I saw her driving pass the station. I think she sent her friend home who lived nearby. Even though just a glance, I'm glad to see her smiling-chatting with her friend. More than enough for today. At least I did not miss out seeing her for today. =)

I need to go to bed now. It's 6.13p.m. (GMT+8).

without wy 30days

Past few days, really don't know what was I doing. It seems like I am not really happy bout it. I felt I don't have the energy to pursue my dreams. I don't have that encouragement given to me anymore. Until today, I don't quite know, why doesn't she just let me show. I'm sick now, hope to get well soon... I felt my life has become miserable once again...

without wy - 5days (exact 24days)

It feels weird without her presence. This morning quite worry that she will vomit or not feeling well. I think she was late to bed last night, preparing for her examination this morning. Now, let's don't bug her, let her have a rest. She's tired. She has 1 more exam paper left, on this Wednesday. I hope that after her examinations, she will really relax. Yeah, just right after her last paper for this semester, she will head back to her hometown in the afternoon or evening with her sisters.

Last Thursday, she asked whether I would like to have a moon cake, small little one just for me. I told her I might not eat the moon cake, instead, put it there as a memento(souvenir/gift). Last night, I thought of inviting her for a movie and get both of ourselves a moon cake on next Friday, thinking that she will only going back to hometown on Friday's night. Well, cannot make it.

Last weekend was holiday, Hari Raya celebration. I managed to have 5 days-off. Coincidentally, Kelvin backed to KL and few buddies like Simon, having a small gathering and talk. It feels great, happy to see them again after so long. Many things had happened 2-3 months ago, which really brought me a big discouragement. Forget about sad things, I'm happy to meet them again.

This morning we planned to meet Cadee at the Pavillion. Haha, she called me and said will be there around 2.20-2.30p.m.. Kelvin asked to have DimSum at Pavillion first, still have 2 hours, so we go for a movie instead. Great seeing Cadee, she's still good. Gratz, she has graduated. So we just talk and talk. Anyway, thank you guys especially Kelvin for the treats, Simon, Yinng, Cadee, and all of them. Great having you guys to be friends.

Back to the story, I might not hope much, but I will just do my best to become a positive thinking person. It's not just because of you, it's because of everyone around me who cares about me. Of course, for now, I will still try to win your heart back. The feeling we shared...

Thanks Lord God Almighty for guiding me.

...

I miss my baby...